Where Is God in My Pain?
by Lina Abujamra

I relived every moment of unshed tears while I fought with God tooth and nail for answers. I mourned so many wasted days in the valley. But then it occurred to me that it was the very deconstruction of my faith that opened my eyes to God. It was the deconstruction of my faith that gave me a taste of His unconditional love and never-ending grace. It was the deconstruction of my faith that rebuilt me inside and out.

Over the last few years, I’ve found that the deconstruction of one’s faith has many flavors but one common theme: pain. Your pain may not be church-related at all. Your pain may be much more personal. Your hurt may have been born out of deep abuse. Your struggle may be the result of repetitive disappointment and unshakeable bad “luck.” Your wounds may be the result of something you did or something that was done to you. Your skepticism may be due to your dissatisfaction with the standard answers you’ve heard to life’s most difficult questions.

It’s only when you finally let go of all the clutter you believe about God that you can make room for Him in your life again. When you stop long enough for God to reveal Himself to you as He really is, and not as you’ve made Him up to be, a slow reconstruction begins.

It happened to me. I know it can happen to you too.

Simplicity, not suffering, is the point of fasting in Lent. The Lord delights in our freedom, not our pain, yet invites us to fast in order to be truly free. Therefore, we simplify our lives to realize just how much time is spent on our own pleasures, the joy and indulgence of our senses. When we simplify our meals or turn off the screens, we create margin, space in which we are now free to hear God in redemptive ways. Simplicity in Lent requires intentionality, yet it is always an invitation born out of God’s love for you and the life you gain, never focusing solely on that which is lost.

Inhabit (a devotional journal for Lent by Dwell)