I Remember…My Little Red Shoes

Let your dreams outgrow the shoes of your expectations.
Ryunosuke Satoro

One of my favorite childhood memories is about getting new shoes….play shoes! My favorite play shoes from the time I was three years old until about seven or eight years old, were PF Flyers. I LOVED my play shoes; and I especially loved when they were new. I loved how they smelled out of the box: a little rubbery, a little like starched canvas. I would spend a great deal of time inspecting my shoes at home. I would run my fingers over the clean, bumpy, gum soles and I would press my pudgy finger tips into the bright, squishy insoles…insoles strewn with fanciful graphics and words I could not read.

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Deb in her shoes ca. 1965

I remember being intrigued by the rectangular box on the heel of each shoe. Each box so beautifully bright and blue atop the contrasting white, wrap-around rubber. But most of all, the favorite part of my new shoes were their unscuffed white toe-caps, which of course, I thought made them look so very strong and keen, ready for fun. For many days after receiving my new shoes, I would line them up on the floor of my closet next to my old play shoes. Then I would notice the stark contrast between the two sets.

I would think about all the days of playing I had done wearing my old shoes; no wonder they looked so tired and shabby. How many days of play would it take, I wondered, before my new shoes resembled my old shoes. I pondered whether it was possible to keep my new shoes forever new, and then a sad thought appeared. I realized the only way to keep my new shoes new, would be for me not to wear them for play. That was an unbearable thought, because new shoes are meant to be worn and played in! And so at a tender age I learned a helpful lesson from my little red shoes: everything new eventually grows old, but adventure, real or imagined, may always be had simply by lacing on a new pair of shoes.

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My current collection for play

What If?

My two favorite words: What If?

There is a world of possibility instantly created by uttering these two words, and the simplicity of invoking a new reality brings giddy delight whenever I consider the potential of What If?

Imagination is the raw ability to conjure up a different reality. If a person can dream, then he or she can imagine. If people can ask “what if” or move in the world “as if,” then they have imagination. ~ Eric Liu & Scott Noppe-Brandon

What If…I only had one job?
What If that one job was to just be Love?
What would my world, my reality look like if that became true for me?
How would I approach my days and my many roles from this perspective?

What is Love after all?

Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.
Love doesn’t strut,
Doesn’t have a swelled head,
Doesn’t force itself on others,
Isn’t always “me first,”
Doesn’t fly off the handle,
Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn’t revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (the Message)

At home, as wife and mother and grandmother…what if I believed and acted (behaved) as if the most important thing for me to do is to show those with whom I live, through the myriad and mundane, how Love acts.

At work as employer and employee…how does Love live in the workplace?

In my community…how does Love behave in the midst of so many others so very different from myself?

Being Love is indeed a VERY BIG JOB…I need no other work to fill my days but this one thing, and a little inspired imagination.

One’s destination is never a place, but a new way of seeing things. Henry Miller

What about you? Do you ever wonder, What If….?

Everything New

One week into 2018 and I am still thinking about the New Year and what I may accomplish in it and through it. And the idea of transformation and hope has persisted and continues to appear before my eyes in the things I’m reading and in the thoughts I’m thinking.

The hardest part is what to leave behind, … It’s time to let go!
– A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

To be transformed is to be made new, to be changed, to experience a metamorphosis; to become a new creation. Is this not the wonder and delight of crossing over into the New Year? This hope that the old things and old ways of doing things which don’t work will pass away, and the life and light of newness will attend us in the unfolding days of the new year.

When I let go of what I am,
I become what I might be.
– Lao Tzu

Why does the thought of a personal transformation so tickle my senses? Does it tickle you? Perhaps it tickles, perhaps it pings our collective intrigue because this is what we need…to be renewed, refreshed, revitalized!

Let’s touch everything we see
and change it to hope
Our hearts let’s change to flesh
No more stones of apathy for us!
Let’s look at everything that could be
believing it will be
if we dare
to walk on water
scared and hopeful.

Come, walk on the water with me!
Let’s wrap our fears in hope.
Across these waters we must go our lamps of courage high
Scared and hopeful we will go.
– 
Macrina Wiederkehr, O.S.B.

What needs transforming in my life? What needs changing? What needs to die so I may embrace a new way of being? Perhaps I need to learn a new way of relating? A new way of perceiving? A new way of communicating? A new way of loving?

Don’t ask yourself what the world needs;
ask yourself what makes you come alive.
And then go and do that.
Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.
– Howard Thurman

It’s time isn’t it? Time to walk into the New Year with every expectation that I will be changed because I am ready. I am ready to be emptied so I may be filled again,  maybe even filled to overflowing with every good and needful thing. How about you? Will you go with me…will you walk out with me onto the waters of hope in 2018?

Story Time

Endings arrive because they must
For every story, season, or life
Is woven, is cast, is spun from dust
And from dust all things always begin
Unfolding, unwinding, unfurling
Like so much dust upon the wind
From dust, tall tales of glory regale
From dust, a child’s fairy tale
From dust, epic legends are staged
From dust, saints and demons engage
From dust, we run
From dust, we rage
Because we know
From dust, all things will begin
From dust, all things will also end.

Do not despair of endings. Endings are just a place of beginning. As long as you are found breathing, the end, your end, is not yet realized. This is good news, you still have time to finish your story well. A happy ending is within your power to script. –DEBreen

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growingbolder.com

Life in Particular

To live life sleeping is to live as feather, blown in the breeze.
To live life trusting is to live as eagle, peaceful above the fray.
To live life fearing is to live as coward, afraid of that which is not.
To live life embracing is to live as mother, alive to possibility.
To live life doubting is to live as beast, restless to roam.
To live life accepting is to live as child, carefree in bliss.
To live life striving is to live as competitor, stranger of idleness.
To live life dying is to live as divine, extravagant without end.
To live life loving is to live as fire, burning unconsumed.

Doesn’t everything die at last and too soon? Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life? ~Mary Oliver

Particular

Our Best Self…Inside Out

Seconds…minutes…hours…days…years…

All of life is lived in tempo to the silent tick, tick, ticking of each minute’s passing. This muted drummer is forever playing its ghostly background beat, but always just out of range from our waking perception. Yet nature’s seasons clearly inform our senses of the forward cadence…onward it idles…time maneuvers itself with alarming regularity.

Often as we are being transformed, we cannot tell what is happening. For while in the midst of staying afloat, it is next to impossible to see the ocean we are being carried into. Mark Nepo

This commodity, measured as units are consumed, allows for no replacements; once spent, it is forever gone. Like a spendthrift, time drones on shamelessly; always unfolding forward, devouring itself before it has a chance to live or give. With an unrelenting, never-sated appetite, time marches; time may lull; but time never misses a beat. If only it would hold still or stop altogether, just long enough for us to rest a while in its growing shadow…to catch our breath…breathe in, breathe out…

Life is not lost by dying; life is lost minute by minute, day by day, in all the thousand small, uncaring waysStephen Vincent Benet

Yet as we measure time, it is clearly the great equalizer unto all humanity. Without partiality, time as currency, is meted out in equal portions to every living being. Whether young or old; rich or poor; strong or weak; time stands still for no one; each one is granted the same allotment of minutes per day from which to make life meaningful for living.

How does one become a wise manager and investor of this precious commodity? What activities enlarge the quality of our minutes? What activities decrease their value? As physical beings who are relegated to the constraints and boundaries of a 24-hour day cycle, we must remind ourselves that we are not without recourse. We may recompense time before it spills and spends itself before us.  How do we master the illusive, forward, ceaseless minutes of our life? We make time our captive when we engage our center… our core…our hidden life…our spirit-life.

We are spiritual beings living a human existence. Stephen Covey

By spending quality minutes in relationship with ourselves and the Divine, we enter eternity’s realm; in this timeless place we may invest ourselves in care-full pursuit of our divine life. In this hidden place, we may expend and exalt our being to a higher plain; above the fray of seconds and mintues. We may transcend to the higher calling of our inner life whever we settle into the cocoon of our center.

It is at the core of being where we may realize and learn how best to live our life on the outside.  When we spend time with the Eternal One, we invest in our long-term well-being. Time spent in quiet devotion, meditation and contemplation will always build into our life (hidden and otherwise) the tri-fold dividends of purpose, peace, and passion…from the inside, out.

TIME WITH ME cannot be rushed. When you are in a hurry, your mind flitters back and forth between Me and the tasks ahead of you. Push back the demands pressing in on you; create a safe space around you, a haven in which you can rest with Me. I also desire this time of focused attention and I use it to bless you, strengthening and equipping you for the day ahead. Thus, spending time with Me is a wise investment. Bring Me the sacrifice of your precious time. This creates sacred space around you. Sarah Young ~ Jesus Calling

Signs of Life…Being Alive

Our community chorale has been practicing Stephen Sondheim’s music “Being Alive” and the lyrics have completely imbedded in my head over these last two months. So much so, that I find myself wondering about what it means to ‘be alive’.

In terms of my personal training business, I train my clients to be fully alert so they may focus their attention on their working muscles and breath when they engage in their strength and cardiopulmonary training. An unfocused mind during an exercise session is a lot like sleep walking: the body is moving, but the mind has no awareness of it.

“The Glory of God is a human being fully alive.” Saint Irenaeus

Life is full of intriguing, wonderful mystery, begging us to live out loud and on purpose. Yet, for all our aliveness, we often take being alive for granted. The question which plagues me and begs for an answer is this: What does a life look like…feel like…when it is lived fully alive?

If living to the full brings glory to the One who gives us life to live, then surely we must have built into us a capacity, a drive, an overwhelming need to live in abundant, over-the-top alive-ness! And as I ponder these thoughts frequently these days, the words of Sondheim’s song give me some insight into what life looks like when it is less than fully lived:

Somebody hold me too close
Somebody hurt me too deep
Somebody sit in my chair
And ruin my sleep
And make me aware
Of being alive, being alive

Perhaps we choose to live less than fully alive because being fully alive is uncomfortable! And yet I know from my physical training, that if I want to improve my stamina or strength, then I must learn to become comfortable with being uncomfortable for a while. Now, that’s a funny way of thinking isn’t it? Yet, ironically this is another tool in my trainer’s tool box. The principle of learning to be comfortable with discomfort is a tool which athlete’s ply every time they train their physical body to perform, whether in practice or in competition.

Interesting how this idea of becoming accustomed to discomfort is best realized in the sphere of  relationships. As in, how we relate to others, ourselves, and the Divine directly impacts the quality of our aliveness. Relationship is the humus of a life fully lived. Because being alone is alone…not alive!

being alive