You Are Not Your Mind…Nor Your Thoughts (Linking-Thinking #1)

New Series: Linking-Thinking (How to Think, Feel and Be with INTENTION)

2 Comments April 18, 2022 debreen

Good Morning; it’s Easter Monday! And yesterday I just finished my first ever intentional Lenten fast (40 days) of my adult life! Raised in a Christian/Protestant tradition, the Lenten Season was not something I ever felt encouraged nor desirous to practice. This year was different. I don’t know why, but I felt a strong impulse to ‘fast’ from some problematic dietary behaviors. Namely, I was looking to ditch my ‘need’ to not let a day go by in which I didn’t engage in consuming chocolate or nuts in one form or another. To say that I was anxious about being able to go cold turkey from these cherished substances may be an understatement. The first weeks were the most mentally taxing; regular, consistent thoughts swirled into my consciousness during my waking hours. I was convinced I needed these foods to sustain my energy and health as I trained for an upcoming marathon. How could I have been so careless as to delete these items from my diet during an uptick in physical training?

Strangely enough, I was about 30 days into the 40 day ‘fast’ before I realized that I was thriving and training well without consuming these foods. However, the next epiphany arrived when I realized the reason I was thriving was because I wasn’t denying myself nutrition from other sources. I basically replaced the calories I was fasting from with other ‘permitted’ food stuffs. Wow, what an eye opener! I felt like a fasting failure! And yet, what I had discovered as a byproduct of my fast was this: my thoughts about chocolate and nuts no longer bothered me throughout the day anymore. Thirty days into this experiment I realized that when I stood in the pantry and eyed my almond chocolate butter, a thought arose…I want some chocolate almond butter.

As soon as I thought that thought, I FELT that thought in my BODY and in my MIND. An anxious shiver ran through me, and I was almost certain that I was going to break my fast then and there, but I paused and that’s when I realized; the feeling of wanting was simply a THOUGHT! It was not a fact to be believed or acted upon. What a RELIEF! For reasons which I cannot explain, when I identified that thought for what it was, just a passing cloud in the atmosphere of my mind, I was released from its power to propel me into action. Yes, I was tempted to believe the thought; I wanted to believe that I needed that chocolate almond butter at that moment; I could imagine the tantalizing flavor and texture swirling around in my mouth, but when I recognized that this ‘idea’ was merely a thought I could let float by, I was home free! I was free to ignore the thought and let it pass. I truly believe that if I had not spent the thirty days of fasting from the forbidden food substances, I would not have been able to engage in linking- thinking. I would have been a servant, NO, a SLAVE to my thinking thoughts and I would have done performed accordingly, which was: EAT WHEN and WHAT I WANT.

So my Lenten fast (experiment) is not really complete without sharing it with the others in my life, as well as my blog post readers. Even though my first Lenten fast was not performed as practiced in the Christian tradition, it was, none-the-less a personal time of testing and learning. By intentionally denying myself certain opportunities for indulgence, I was provided with some beneficial insights into my own mind, body and spirit during that sacred season. I hope you might be encouraged to engage in a similar exercise for yourself should you feel so inclined. I’d love to hear from you and assist you in any way I can should you decide to take that plunge.

Lastly, if you’d like to follow my upcoming weekly series: LINKING-THINKING, make sure you use the box below to be notified when a new post is published.

There’s a lot of happiness in this world that depends on being brave enough to keep working when it’d be easier to quit. Nothing good gets started without getting to work —and nothing great gets finished without staying at the work.
The Way of Abundance ~ Ann Voskamp

Endurance is not just the ability to bear a difficult thing, but to turn it into glory.
William Barclay

Endure

Quote 1 Comment

I Remember…My Little Red Shoes

1 Comment February 25, 2018 debreen

Let your dreams outgrow the shoes of your expectations.
Ryunosuke Satoro

One of my favorite childhood memories is about getting new shoes….play shoes! My favorite play shoes from the time I was three years old until about seven or eight years old, were PF Flyers. I LOVED my play shoes; and I especially loved when they were new. I loved how they smelled out of the box: a little rubbery, a little like starched canvas. I would spend a great deal of time inspecting my shoes at home. I would run my fingers over the clean, bumpy, gum soles and I would press my pudgy finger tips into the bright, squishy insoles…insoles strewn with fanciful graphics and words I could not read.

Deb in her shoes ca. 1965

I remember being intrigued by the rectangular box on the heel of each shoe. Each box so beautifully bright and blue atop the contrasting white, wrap-around rubber. But most of all, the favorite part of my new shoes were their unscuffed white toe-caps, which of course, I thought made them look so very strong and keen, ready for fun. For many days after receiving my new shoes, I would line them up on the floor of my closet next to my old play shoes. Then I would notice the stark contrast between the two sets.

I would think about all the days of playing I had done wearing my old shoes; no wonder they looked so tired and shabby. How many days of play would it take, I wondered, before my new shoes resembled my old shoes. I pondered whether it was possible to keep my new shoes forever new, and then a sad thought appeared. I realized the only way to keep my new shoes new, would be for me not to wear them for play. That was an unbearable thought, because new shoes are meant to be worn and played in! And so at a tender age I learned a helpful lesson from my little red shoes: everything new eventually grows old, but adventure, real or imagined, may always be had simply by lacing on a new pair of shoes.

My current collection for play

Focus…First Things First

1 Comment October 19, 2017 debreen

I’ll be the first to admit…it’s easier to talk or think about my priorities rather than actually pursuing my priorities in the order of their value and supremacy. What makes prioritizing so problematic is that my life is lived in many venues, and all of these venues have built-in priorities from which I must choose (decide) their order of primacy.

We have relationships and roles to fulfill (work, family, social, community, etc.); we have stuff which obligates our time or material resources (houses, cars, hobbies, etc); we have bodies which need to be nourished (mental, physical, emotional, social, etc). Our to-do lists are endless. So how do we determine what gets priority? How do we order and rank our most precious resource…time…in any given day?

You always have time for the things you put (do) first. ~Anonymous

Instant messaging, fast food and next day shipping has become standard operating procedure for those of us living and working in industrialized economies. Our inboxes, virtual or otherwise, are overflowing and all the messages are marked ‘urgent’ or ‘important’. We say we value our relationships, our physical health, our freedom, our faith…but how much of what we do everyday actually supports, nourishes or advances our values; our priority(s)? How do we focus our attention when the minutes of the day are full of diversion and distraction?

Starve Your Distractions ~ Feed Your Focus…That Which You Seek, Finds You!

Our attention and focus is pulled out of whack and into disorder by every thing we allow to come into our awareness. If we are honest with ourselves and truly desire to accomplish those things we say we value, then we must decide (choose), again and again to do only those things which we have identified as ‘priority’. Two questions help us rank our values: #1. What do I truly desire? #2. What is standing in my way? If you’re not sure of the answer to question number one, then consider what you spend your time thinking about. What you spend time thinking about is a strong indication of where the desires of your heart lay.

Focus like a laser, not a flashlight…

Do you get the sense that accomplishing something of import for yourself will require your relentless determination and focus? If this sounds like hard work, that’s because it is hard work! Prioritizing your life, sharpening your focus, ignoring those things which would divert and distract your attention, all these things and more will be required from you when you set out to craft your most meaningful life.

But do not despair of this worthwhile work of yours. Your desire, determination and dedication will provide you strength and stamina to pursue the object of your focus. It’s no harder than doing the ‘number one’ item on your priority list FIRST. Do not move on to item number two or item number three if doing so will remove the urgency and primacy of your focus.

Wake Up!

3 Comments April 8, 2017 debreen

I am fond of saying ‘We become what we think, that our lives and our bodies resemble our belief system.’ In the realm of my personal training business, I use this principle with every training client I engage. I sometimes feel like an empassioned evangelist because I so strongly advocate and admonish my clients to grasp the importance and power of their own thinking and believing.

“It’s perfectly normal, perfectly natural to live in sleep. But to wake up is a revolution in consciousness. To wake up is to break free of nature. To wake up is to rise and unite with the spirit, and nature doesn’t do that for us.” Mark Pritchard

In my opinion, the foundation for success in one’s life begins and ends with training and disciplining our thinking mind. The muscles of thought and belief must be employed and activated constantly, consistently and consciously in coordination with a physical training program for the body.

Consider that your learning goal is the ongoing pursuit of a lifetime of consistent physical movement and self-care. Michelle Segal, PhD

The first part of achieving a fitness goal requires making a decision. A decision is simple. What do you want? First you decide, then you intend. Then you plot a course of action in written format to make it visible; then you inform another human being of your decision.

This final action (telling) breathes life (reality, urgency, ownership) into your original reasons for deciding and intending. Telling someone else about your decsion and intention creates a monument upon which you may build your new waking thoughts.

Whether your goal is to be measured in pounds or inches lost; miles walked or run per hour; percent of muscle gained or fat lost, never underestimate the power or your intention to work on your behalf for your success.

In the beginning it may seem like you are acting altogether out of character for yourself. But do not fret over this idea or this feeling; let it go and just believe. Be your own very best heroine and advocate. You can do this thing you have intended to do, you have already decided! You have made your intention!

Now that you have set your intention, be prepared to choose, many times, over and again. You will choose whether to get up early or stay up late to fit in your exercise sessions. You will choose whether to nourish your body for the better or whether you will continue to eat as though you are an unconscious auto-pilot. You will choose whether to believe your frequent thoughts of failure over fleeting thoughts of succeeding and achieving.

Learning to ‘wake ourselves up’ from the white noise of our own thinking will require practice and dedication. The same practice and dedication we use to train the body’s muscles for strength and stamina may be employed to tame and tend the monkey mind of our own thinking and believing.

Sometimes we may need to still our bodies so as to sequester space for mindful contemplation. Other times, we may find it more helpful to move our bodies in rhythm to walking legs and feet or plowing hands and arms.

Either way, waking up requires a willingness to put self-defeating thoughts on trial so they may be ultimatly laid to rest.

Our Focus: Our Attraction: Our Destiny

1 Comment February 11, 2017 debreen

Training our mental focus is just like training our physical body. To gain strength and stamina within our muscles, daily exercise must be engaged. Similarly, to achieve a personal goal, our thinking must be focused, purposeful and regular about that thing which we desire to achieve.

What if all we need to be successful goal achievers is to understand this one thing? That we fail to achieve because we fail to focus on the right thing. If we are constantly thinking about not doing what we don’t want to accomplish, how much mental energy, stamina or will power will we have in reserve to make the positive change for ourself? Can you see the paradox here? We are always thinking thoughts…but the focus or centrality of our thoughts will determine our achievements and outcomes.

Or another way of looking at this paradox is by using the principles of nutrition for our physical body. We know how to nourish our body with food, even though all food is not equally beneficial for the body.

Likewise, our thoughts are the food by which our minds are energized. Not all thoughts are equally beneficial for mindful action (change). When we need to make a change in our life, we have to nourish our mind for action by thinking about the new habit frequently. We practice this change by replacing the old habit thoughts with thoughts about the new habit whenever we find ourselves thinking about the old habit.

We feed a negative habit by giving it our attention. The best way to change an old habit is to starve it! How do we starve an old habit? We starve an old habit by diverting its food source (our thoughts and attention) with thoughts and imagination about the new habit. This is how we nourish new thoughts…we think about them…alot!

You have to learn that everything you do every day has a deep-seated reason. It gratifies a need and offers psychological support. Therefore, begin where the rewards of the new activity can clearly outweigh what is being sacrificed.
Dr. George Sheehan

Bear with me as I reach this last crucial point. In order to propel us to action, our thoughts require our mindful attention. This is how they influence our behavior. We must recognize our attraction for old thinking, and as soon as we find ourselves thinking about the old haibt, detour our thinking onto the new habit. This practice requires diligence. But there is no shortcut. We have to be willing to cut ourselves off from our love affair, if you will, before we can attach our full attention and imagination into new thoughts about our new habit. In other words, we have to fall out of love with the old, before we can take pleasure in the new!

It seems so simple, but I know it’s not so easy to do. But hopefully what you have just read will help you remember…when you need it most. And this is what I hope you will be able to take away from this post: What you focus your attention on…or perhaps, what captures your attention and affection most often, will ultimately propel you towards your destiny.

When we train our focus to embrace a new thought (love) interest, then we invoke the law of attraction upon our goal and our life. This law never fails to succeed for us because, that which we attend to will increase!

Dancing, Blessing, & Moving For Joy

Leave a comment November 4, 2016 debreen

I was over 50 years old before I personally connected with the happy benefits of moving my body to music…in public…in front of other people…with other people. I know that sounds odd in today’s modern, immodest age, but that is just the kind of person I grew into.

Yet as a personal trainer and recreational sportsperson, I am well versed in the feel-good endorphins illicted in the body when it is engaged in moderate physical activities. I just never considered or experienced the value of participating in a group fitness class based in music or dance. I assumed such benefits were reserved for those who had a background in dance, and I had no such experience with dance in a social or fitness setting. Thankfully, in the early days of my fitness education training, my mentor (who was also my employer) strongly encouraged me to consider providing a group music-based fitness class to his facility’s program offerings.

The soul is seen when it reaches out in love. Blessing is done by the soul.
Blessing is the projection of good into the life of another.
We must think it, and feel it, and will it.
We communicate it with our bodies.
Blessing is kind of like an ancient dance of the Hokey-Pokey;
Before you finish you have to ‘put your whole self in.’
Soul Keeping: Caring For the Most Important Part of You ~ John Ortberg

Now fast forward 8 years and I have had the privilege of leading as many as 7 group movement classes per week in addition to a roster full of personal training clients. Half of those group classes involve moving to music; and I like to think of these music-based classes as synchronized movement therapy. I still don’t think of myself as a dancer, but in the six years of leading these group music-based movement classes I have witnessed over and over again, the transformative and healthful benefits produced upon the lives of those who regularly attend these physical activity classes.

Changing your personal meaning of exercise and physical activity from a chore into a gift will transform your relationship with movement.
No Sweat ~ Michelle Segar

And be assured, the only requirement necessary to receive a health benefit from moving is to simply choose a mindset of being a blessing…to yourself. When you attend to your body’s need for movement with the intentional purpose of having fun (read: joy), you practically guarantee a blessing upon yourself, your soul. Additionally, such a mindset (job one = fun) quickly displaces feelings of competition or uncomfortable self-awareness you might otherwise experience in a group setting.

As the instructor of these music-movement classes, I have discovered I am not immune to this soul blessing phenomenon which takes place during and after the classes I lead. It is a mystical effect, of which I cannot easily explain. But many times during a class period this blessing energy is not only visible on the radiant, gleaming faces of group participants, but I also sense the invisible yet nearly tangible presence of joy (love?) mixing and moving in our midst…the likes of which make me feel like a silly, awestruck five year old child.

Always remember this: Most of our aging is just decay, and decay is optional; it’s under your control. Some of life’s changes are not under your control, but this one
is. Taking charge of your life, physically and emotionally, is the best possible antidote to standard aging. And it all starts with exercise.
Younger Next Year ~ Chris Crowley & Henry S Lodge, M.D.

Wherever I go and with whomever I talk, I preach the blessing-benefits available for the taking when we discover a physical activity which brings playful joyfulness into our lives. There is not a one-size-fits-all list of sanctioned activities which constitutes ‘real exercise’. No, the most vital part of soul/body blessing is in bringing and moving one’s self purposefully to each and every activity which brings joyful feelings to one’s heart and puts beaming smiles on one’s face.

When you recover or discover something that nourishes your soul and brings joy, care enough about yourself to make room for it in your life.
Jean Shinoda Bolen

Which One Am I Feeding?

2 Comments September 11, 2016 debreen

Okay, I’ll admit it…I’d like to lose a lousy 5 pounds. No more, no less. Honestly, that’s it. I know better than to be fixated on the numbers on my scale. I’m a personal trainer and health coach. And I’m always telling my clients how those scale numbers are not nearly as important as their body composition (% of fat and muscle) numbers. I say these things so often they are now cliché training-speak. I am not proud to admit these things, I am no different, no better than any one else I train. I have a love/hate relationship with numbers; they attack my logical brain and leave no room for reason.

Imagine my surprise on the day I contemplated my 5-pound conundrum, when a thought occurred to me: How can I help my clients to eat mindfully when I don’t always manage my own mindless eating? I only want to lose 5 pounds, I don’t need to lose 5 pounds, I just want to. And I have a hunch (okay, I KNOW) these last 5 pounds are not going to budge unless I make some changes in my way of eating. Why? Because I have a cheat. I have caloric wiggle room because I exercise a lot…every day…it’s my job and I love it. But it does not exempt me from the law of calories in = calories out.

I don’t know why I had this thought the other day, but that’s the nature of thoughts after all. Thoughts are like feathers blowing in the breeze, floating here and there waiting for us to give them a place to loft so as to entertain our attention. Once we attend to a thought, it may grow upon us and in us.

Now some thoughts are more entertaining than others. And depending on our current state of mind, we may or may attend to any given thought. But one thing is true, certain thoughts are better left for dead. Unattended if you will. Intuitively we know which thoughts make us feel happy or sad or encouraged or angry or defeated or motivated or lazy. So maybe this is why I gave that thought some attention the other day; because it made me think.

What we say and do is based on what we have already built into our minds.
Dr. Caroline Leaf

Actually the thought made me question…myself. And the question it asked was this: What is your intention regarding the food in your hand or on your plate? Are you feeding yourself in response to bodily hunger or emotional hunger? What would your diet look like if you only ate with an intention to nourish your physical body rather than your emotional body?

Okay, so that was 3 questions. But the initial thought surprised and intrigued. Have I really been so un-intentional, so question-less in my eating? Yes, more often than I would care to admit. Yet here’s the irony of my thinking and believing: I say (I believe) my goal is to train my body for health and physical performance, and yet I eat food which I know will make my body (head and/or stomach) hurt. Really? Really!

Should I expect to reach my fitness goals when I eat without intention? If I eat because it’s a reflex and not an answer to a question, then I may not be nourishing my body after all but rather my emotions. So tell me something I don’t know…duh! And this double mindedness intrigues me…

Now that you have more information about me than you needed, bare with me one moment longer. Because I’m just going to put one little question on the table, before you and before me. For the next few weeks (until the end of September), before I put food in my mouth, every time, I will ask myself a question: Is this food you are about to eat for your body or for your emotion? Then I’ll wait for the answer. And if the answer is the one which will help me towards my goal…I will eat…and if it is not…???

So here’s to a half month of research. I’d love to have you join my little research project…if you feel so inclined. I’ll report the results in a post around the first week of October. Here’s to our thoughtful eating…cheers.